The kind of mentality contained by some of the South Asian families whether educated or not, is that a girl is only there to do Choola handi (kitchen chores).
Yes, this mentality is still present in our society today, surprisingly, you think people would grow with time, but unfortunately that’s not the case.
It’s all about getting her married off after completing her degree, not even allowing her to pursue her career, the career, shes always dreamed about.
If she’s hitting her 30’s soon and not married, people want to talk crap and look for all the faults they possibly could to justify why she’s not married till now, when its’ none of their damn business really.
When she finally does get married, they want to mock her if she’s not able to fulfil her husbands needs, whether he does or not, but she should, because a larkie (girl) needs to compromise har hal mai (no matter what). Ghalti se (accidentally), if she talks back in her defence when mother in law is accusing her of something, she’s as badtameez (rude) as one could get.
If she steps out the house, she needs to make sure she dresses appropriately because she’s such n such’s wife, if she talks to someone of an opposite sex, she’s apparently cheating on her husband. If she comes home late, she’s ‘defo’ a prostitute. If she chooses to work, suddenly it all comes down to ghar ki izzat, most of all mard ki izzat. (A mans respect)
All hell breaks loose if she’s not able to concieve in time, people start questioning and pointing fingers at her. But will never consider the fact that mard mai bhi kami ho sakti hai (a man could be lacking physically). When she does concieve and gives birth to a beautiful baby girl, the reactions are as rotten as Arey beti hui hai (oh it’s a girl) without giving Mubarak (congratulating), rather than thanking Allah for blessing your unappreciative soul with a gift of a child. On the other hand if its a boy you’ve suddenly hit the jackpot and become the Queen of the house.
Like kya hai yeh sub bakwas!?! (what is this bullshit!?!)
I might sound like an extreme feminist right now, but to all those parents who have daughters, get a grip and appreciate the daughters in your family, value them, value their needs, value their dreams, they’re a blessing. Allah has blessed us females with extra strength in so many ways. Not only is she strong enough to do choola handi everyday, but she’s strong enough to manage a family, strong enough to pursue a career, strong enough to keep a child in her womb for 9 months and yet still work her ass off. When a girl miscarries, the pain of miscarrying is equivalent to loosing 10 babies. Allah has not only blessed us with physical strength but emotional strength as well for a girl to get married and move to her in laws, leaving everything behind and dedicating her life to her husband takes hell a-lot of emotional strength.
A girl wanting to explore the world, to travel, to become something, to feel good within herself, to look good does not always require a husband and most definitely does not require anyone looking down at her.
Have faith in your daughters people. ♥️
Till next time my lovelies. x